Softness was not a liability

Softness was not weakness. It was a strategy. A boundary. A way of choosing self when the world demanded constant output and explanation. This page holds the quieter truths, the pauses, the tenderness, the moments Black girls, women, and femmes chose care, rest, and self-preservation in digital spaces that did not always offer it.

Take the photos of yourself anyway. You’re going to grow and change so much as you accomplish your dreams, and even when they start to feel unreal you need to never fear looking yourself in the face and knowing who you are each step of the way. Love every version of you fiercely, beautifully.

"they love me most when I’m mourning, share my wounds, ignore my name. the feed forgets me fast unless i’m bleeding beautifully. some days i want to disappear some days i want the whole world as a stage. both feel like a betrayal. still, i write. a prayer for my words as they enter the void. again, I’m fulfilled."

Kristina Byas

If I could leave my heart a voice note…. You were never made to disappear. Your presence is the miracle. Your voice is the inheritance. You walk into rooms and shift the air. That’s not attitude — that’s alignment. You carry generations in your bones. Every laugh, every scar, every boundary? Sacred. You’ve given and given — still, you rise. Still, you love. Still, you pour. And you don’t even see it sometimes, but you are the blessing. You’ve survived spaces that didn’t see you, thrived in systems that tried to erase you. Your heart is a warrior wrapped in lace. Beautiful. Dangerous. Unyielding. A poem that wrote itself in the dark and dared to speak anyway.

Alysé

"I am very stubborn, and I live off spite. The things I love, particularly ice hockey, are so strong that no one can make me not love them. For so long, I’ve been told that I couldn’t love my interests because they’re “white” or through passive aggression that I don’t belong. What has kept me going has been the small community of amazingly talented Black women and nonbinary folks who continue to tell their stories and share their talent. There is enough for everyone. If a faction of fandom spaces can’t accept that, I do not engage with them because I have my communities. What these bad actors want is for us [Black Women and enbys] to not exist in these spaces, and I won’t give them the satisfaction. Find your people and support them. Ignore the BS and thrive despite it, nothing pisses off bigots more than Black Joy. Stand up for yourself and others when necessary, but be generous with that block button. We have always been here, we will continue to be here; anyone mad about it can stay mad."

Shannon Mayembe

"I continue to show up regardless. I believe in my art. I believe there is a specially curated tribe of listeners waiting to be introduced to me. I am so deeply at peace with my identity both sonically and spiritually. Younger Esari would listen to my music and be in awe because she was such a sad and broken little girl who only solace was sound. If I could go back, I would tell her to the pain is temporary. That there will be profound moments of inconceivable darkness but that The Most High would lead her to the light in the end and that the anointed cannot wait to welcome her home."

Esari

Beloved, do not shrink or change. You will find that places online where you can be yourself. You will find your voice and write. You are not alone. Every time you make a choice to keep going, to keep searching—that energy is a beacon for others to do the same. Your perseverance will transform you. You will wonder if the steps you take are fueled by the love and guidance of your ancestors. They are. And while they may not have known that it would look exactly the way it does right now—all they did their sacrifices and joys were for you. The space you inhabit inside your heart will expand and the more community you find the more you will grow. You will find people online that will become in person connections. You will be brave and share stories about mistakes and missteps. You will listen and be heard. Most of all you will keep going. The journey to discovering ourselves begins inside but we do it so me can be with each other. I love you as you are. I love who were. I love who you will become.”

Oneika Mays

Softness kept me here.